LIVING WELL Magazine

Cremation: Choice and Remembrance By Jim Vickers, Messinger Mortuaries Inc appearing in SENIOR Magazine

Scottsdale SENIOR Magazine

Cremation: Choice and Remembrance

By: Jim Vickers, Messinger Mortuaries Inc

Last year my wife and I were faced with a major decision regarding our house—it was time to paint the interior. This meant looking around for the best painter offering affordable pricing and quality work who would also guarantee everything would be done just the way we wanted. After getting recommendations from friends, we decided to use the services of a local painter whom we felt met all of our needs.

What we received in the end more than met our requirements; superb work done with premium paint by a trustworthy craftsman at a fair price. The job was done without a “bidding war,” or having to compromise on inferior product. Work was completed on time with no late surprises or hidden costs. We were told up front what to expect and that is exactly what we got because the painter paid attention to small details. It meant the difference between just painting a few rooms and giving us an interior with exceptional style.

As a result of this satisfying experience, we recommended the young man to others, who in turn recommended him to their friends. Right now our painter has a full calendar. He is pleased with his increasing business and we are pleased to recommend his services.

How does this all relate to cremation and its options? Simple. The methods used in finding the best funeral establishment are all the same. Seek out reliable sources, get references from family and friends, then sit down with a funeral professional of your choice. It may take some effort to locate the right funeral home for your needs. You want a provider who will listen and implement your desires, not sell you what they feel is right for you. Present your vision and expectations and exam the services and products available. Are they consistent with your needs? Picture your loved one in this setting. Is this how you imagine your final farewell? In the end, the right decision is based not only on affordability, but also ensuring your choices will be honored.

Planning at this time is emotionally burdensome. It must be treated with sensitivity. The expectation that wise decisions can be made at the time of death is often open to debate. That is exactly why it is important to know that your funeral provider understands that every family is different, is willing to plan a remembrance that is as unique as the individual, and provide a dignified farewell with consideration for your financial circumstances.

Cremation is an ancient and honorable way of disposing of our dead. Recently, the simple act of cremation has been tarnished when reduced to merely a low-cost way to dispose of our dead. We find ads that invite us to take advantage of the “best deal in town.” Reducing this time-honored tradition to mere economics strips it of its dignified meaning. The “cheapest” choice does not guarantee lasting and cherished memories. Simple is not to be confused with cheap. Simple means the buyer wants something dignified, appropriate and in keeping with family customs. Often one person’s definition of simple may not match the perception of another.

In  my experience low cost providers prosper by using a loss-leader approach, a scaled down version of the cremation service without advising the buyer of additional needs. Buyer beware: Always insist that full-disclosure for all charges is stated in the contract before signing. This eliminates hidden costs later such as a special urn, additional death certificates beyond the single act of cremation.

Effective advertising uses persuasive language to sell the product. Ads are meant to induce buyers into making a decision that may not be in their best interest. It is easy to be misled by advertising.  Ask questions. Seek advice. Make decisions based upon your family’s needs, customs and circumstances. The decision to cremate should be approached thoughtfully. As you consider your own plans, insist that your choices always be honored and your loved one’s final wishes be treated with respect. No matter what your preference, your final decision should reflect you. After all, it is an investment in your cherished memories.

Oh, about our painter: He is always available and so are we.

Author Vickers is with Vickers Agency and is Director of Advanced Planning at Messinger Mortuaries, Inc which has been family owned and operated since 1959. They may be reached by calling 480-945-9521.